first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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