How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
