so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
