Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
this just has baby written all over it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
