I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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