That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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