Im at strip club and am horny
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
