Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
