Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
