shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
