Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
