Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
