She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
