tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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