Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
