she woke up with a sticky ear
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
