So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
