They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
