Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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