I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
