Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
