You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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