The maid of honor just puked.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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