I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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