How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
