could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
