just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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