if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
love makes seman taste better
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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