He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
