Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
God I need to hump something, right now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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