Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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