Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
