big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
