I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize