I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
