he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you made out with another girl for some wings
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
