She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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