Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
