My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
