I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
