I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
