So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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