Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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