Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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