508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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