elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
