I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
