Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
