David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
