You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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