Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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