He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
